A Special Halloween

Last night we went up to East Lawn Cemetary where Dylan is buried to bring him a pumpkin that we made as a family. The social worker from the hospital suggested that we have traditions that we start with our family that include Dylan. I was a little skeptical at first, but the kids were totally up for it. They really enjoyed doing something for Dylan and feeling like he was still a part of our lives. Even Brian was glad that we did it. It really helped our family to feel like he is and always will be a part of our lives. It makes death not so scary and helps us realize in a tangible way that death is not final. I think Maya's fear of death will subside as we include Dylan in the things we do. It will also help with our healing process as well. The most interesting thing is, everytime we go up there Gavin is a whole different person. It's like he knows what we are doing up there. He is totally somber yet happy. I can't explain it. I think the veil will always be thin for those two. He had a horrible day at the hospital the day of Dylan's funeral. You just have to wonder about these babies sometimes. I think they know more than we give them credit for!