One Crazy Week!

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I guess it is safe to say that we successfully survived an extremely stressful and crazy week! I can't believe it has been that long to tell you the truth! It all started Monday morning when I went in for an amnioncentesis. The results came back saying that the baby was more than ready to be born soon. I, however, was only dilated to a 2. So instead of scheduling a C-section for the next morning, we thought we would wait one more week to see if I would dilate further so that I could be induced. Little did I know that decision would be made for me! It was a good thing that we cancelled anything for Tuesday morning because we would not have made it. We went to the skating rink that night with the kids for their school activity. Brian met me there and then we both drove home. When I got home I got the kids in their jammies and was getting Gaving in his jammies when I heard Brian's garage door open. Then I heard him coming up the steps in the garage followed by a crashing sound. He had opened up the door to the house before he fell so I heard him cry out. He has fallen on several occasions, so I didn't rush right out because I thought he had just dropped some stuff or fallen to his knees. When I got to the door I saw him laying on the floor of the garage not conscious. I came down the stairs and he started talking to me. He seemed ok at first, but then I saw his head was bleeding and he was saying a bunch of incoherent and weird things. I decided he needed to go to the hospital, but there was no way I could get him up off the floor. So I called 911. He was still conscious, but not making any sense so the paramedics thought it would be better if they transported him so they could keep an eye on his vitals and other things. Luckily, a bunch of my neighbors had come over when they saw the lights and took my kids. The next thing I knew I was in my pajamas driving to the hospital. We were there for several hours waiting on tests and a CT scan. Everything came back normal so they let us go home. It was pretty late when we go here, but there were still neighbors who were here to help carry Brian into the house. By the time I got him ready for bed and asleep I was getting extremely sick. I spent the next 5-6 hours with the chills and vomiting. I called my mom about 5 in the morning and asked her to come to my house in a few hours to get the kids off to school because I would not be able to. I called the Dr.'s office and left a message about my symptoms and what I should do. So my mom got the kids off to school for me then went home. On her way home she slammed into the back of another car on the freeway. I feel totally responsible because if I hadn't of called her, she wouldn't have been in an accident. After I got off the phone with her, my Dr.'s nurse called and said that I needed to get to labor and delivery ASAP. Here I am, my mom was just in an accident, Brian is completely out, I have Gavin at home, and I am sicker than sick, and I supposed to go somewhere! I called some neighbors to leave Gavin with and then drove myself to the hospital. I looked horrible by the time I got there so they rushed to get warm blankets on me and take my blood. Let me just tell you that laying there in the hospital sick and alone and feeling helpless was not so good for me. All the tests came back normal, but my Dr. felt like sending me home in this condition was a really bad plan. He really wanted my consent to do a C-section that day. I was not willing to risk my luck or take any chances so I told him to go ahead. I wasn't sure if Brian was going to be able to make it. However, he told me on the phone that he didn't know how he was going to get there, but that he was not missing the birth of his baby. Again the neighbors came to the rescue to get him into a car and to the hospital. They wheeled him around in a wheelchair in case he got dizzy. The nice thing about the C-section was that everyone in there made me totally at ease. Even the anesthesiologist. I have never met one of those doctors that I like. This guy was awesome though. He was super friendly and made me very comfortable with my spinal. My last experience was very horrible because the guy basically did not care how I was feeling. This guy was really young, he was actually the same age as me which is kind of weird when you are stark naked on the table and everyone is attaching things to you! They made the surgery in to a big party. They called it a birthday party! When they brought Brian in I got really emotional. This was the moment we had been waiting for for so long. I was so grateful in that moment that he was there to support me and hold my hand. When they took our precious baby out and I heard her cry, I cried like I have never cried before. We're talking the total ugly cry. It was the best sound in the world to hear Taygen cry.
I have never cried at the birth of any of my children. I was always happy, but I never fully understood the true miracle of having a healthy baby. It was an experience I will never forget, a joy I can't describe in words. I am just so so grateful that after everything we had went through we were able to hold our baby girl. I of course sent for the kids as soon as possible so they could be comforted that I was OK, that Daddy was OK, and that Taygen was OK.


Maya was extremely relieved.

She told me that she couldn't believe that Taygen had lived, but she was so grateful that she had. That girl of mine is going to have such a wealth of knowledge about how precious and short life truly is. I am so glad that this event turned out to be positive for all of us. So now were home
enjoying our little bright spot so much.
She means a great deal to our family and we love her very much!

I Might Be Crazy

To say that I am stressed or anxious about this pregnancy is a huge understatement. I have reached the point in my pregnancy when we lost our son Dylan. I have tried to be optimistic about the outcome for this baby, but the fear is still always there. I go to the gym and work out on the treadmill to try and keep my anxiety at bay. I use lots of different relaxation techniques so I don't go totally crazy, but it's hard to sleep and not worry. I am so grateful everytime this baby moves. We had a little scare on Monday because I couldn't get the baby to move for several hours, which was not normal. I called the Dr. and he wanted me to go right to the hospital. Of course I totally lost it. I was so hysterical I couldn't pull myself together to get in the car. Luckily my awesome husband immediately left work to be with me. They still couldn't get the baby to move at the hospital, but they did get a really strong heartbeat. I don't think I have ever been more grateful to hear that sound! I think there was a part of me that thought maybe I could lose another child since I had already gone thru it before, boy was I wrong! I think it was almost worse thinking it had happened a second time. I want this baby so bad, but I worry a lot about it living. I have bought a few things for the baby, but all of it has the tags on still and I have all the receipts. How retarded is that? I did buy a few nonrefundable items, and we are preparing the house as if we will bring a baby home. My sweet girls pray day and night that this baby will live. It breaks my heart that I am the mom and supposed to protect them from pain. They have so much faith and I hope that a loss won't crush their unwavering belief. They are such amazing examples to me. I am getting so tired at the gym, but I'm afraid if I stop working out, I might completely lose it!! Right now the dr has me coming in every week and going in twice a week for nonstress tests. I am grateful that he is concerned about my welfare and that of my baby. He has been truly awesome thru this whole ordeal. I don't suppose I will feel truly secure until I have his baby safely in my arms!! Here's hoping for the best!

Class Talent Show

Maya had a class talent show today. She decided to play the piano for her talent. She played "Moonlight Sonata." She had been playing it not so well this morning and yesterday, so I was a little nervous for her today. However, she really did well on it! She works really good under pressure! I hope she always has that skill because it will serve her well! I surely did not do so good when everyone was watching me! Good job Maya!

Christmas Eve

We decided to get a real tree for Dylan this year. It turned out a lot bigger than we planned, so the decorations are a little sparce. I think we will keep that tradition up. It was fun for us to go to a tree farm and pick out a special tree for our son/brother. Then we all decorated it and took it up to the cemetary. We opened up our secret baby envelope at the cemetary as well. It was a special moment for all of us.
Later on, at my parents house, we re-enacted the Christmas story again. I had thought about just skipping it this year, but the kids would have none of that! All three toddler nephews wanted to be wisemen this year, so that meant that Uncle Adam got to be the star!
What a good sport! The kids were hilarious and very intrigued.
At least it is fun for them to play a part in the story. Hopefully someday they will actually understand what it is they are doing! Baby Matthew was Baby Jesus this year. Maya did a good job of holding him.
The boys really got into the fact that we were calling Matthew, Jesus.
The kids got PJ's again for Christmas eve.
You've never seen kids more excited to get a pair of pajamas.

How many preisthood holders does it take to assemble a treadmill?

Well, five in our case! We got a treadmill over the weekend and we asked a few of the men in our neighborhood to help us bring it in. They were nice enough to stay and help assemble it. I was very, very grateful for that because it would have taken me hours upon hours to put it together! They were hilarious to watch putting the treadmill together. There's something about men and instructions, oh yeah, they don't follow them! I feel bad they were at our house so long, but it was greatly appreciated.
We have been waiting and waiting to get a treadmill. I can't make it to the gym everyday, so this way I can still get a workout in. Plus, Brian makes it to the gym maybe once a month! This will be a great addition for us! We've already used it several times!

And the winner is....

The girls!!! That's right, we found out yesterday that we are having another princess. The girls decided since there was already 3 boys and 3 girls in the family that this baby was the tie breaker. So, the girls dominate! I was fine to keep waiting until the end, but I was outvoted by the kids and Brian. They wanted to find out for Christmas.
I think Brian is a little disappointed, but he loves his princesses, so I am pretty sure he is still excited. Now we just need to go shopping for everything because we got rid of almost all the girl stuff. That's an awful shame let me tell you!

Baking, Baking, Baking

I have been trying for a few weeks to think of something to give my neighbors for Christmas that wouldn't cost a whole lot of money. I really didn't want to have to make something because I am just so tired all the time right now, but I finally gave in and decided it would be fun to make everybody Cinnamon Swirl Bread like they sell at Kneaders. (This is way good if you haven't tried it there!) Needless to say, I have been baking for two days to make 20 loaves of bread! It turned out really good. My kids have been eating it like crazy! They probably aren't as wonderful and perfectly shaped like they are at Kneaders, but I was happy to finally have something to give out! Hopefully they tasted good to the neighbors!